Of Maleness Vs. Manhood

In a recent conversation with a dear friend, she revealed to me that the men in her life (male relatives to be exact), were not up to any task of leading their families or their clans. She traced the history of her parents’ generation and concluded with a sombre appraisal of this – her her generation. She narrated stories of how all these males were simply living their lives, unable to stand up to the task of leadership by either speaking  up, making decisions or taking the lead in all other facets of life. She talked about how some had committed suicide or had early deaths –sometimes due to preventable diseases and habits,- or how some had simply (in my opinion) given up on life (making a difference  altogether).

This conversation was quite poignant. It got me thinking deeply once again about the passion I have had for a while to reach out to young men and help them realise their purpose in life and also reach their fullest potential before they die. I recalled that many a young man (read male ) that I have interfaced with couldn’t tell the difference as to whether they were males or men. In the different series of talks that I have had with the young male students at Makerere Law School, we have discovered together that maleness is about that which ‘relates to or designates the sex producing gametes (spermatozoa) that can fertilize females gametes (ova).  Manhood on the other hand has been defined by Glenn Stanton, to be about maturity, responsibility, courage, stepping up, providing, protecting, self-reliance, tenacity, honesty, being under authority or recognising authority,  showing respect, loyalty, humility, being compassionate, having character, etc.[1]  Maleness therefore is a biological aspect of who a man is. The man however, or manhood to be particular is more than just being born male. It is about, inter alia, responsibility.

There is a lot one can extrapolate from these definitions.  By and large, they go to explain why our (mainly male dominated patrimonial and paternalistic) societies are what they are today.  The Bible and many other religious books have often placed leadership on the shoulders of the male. Indeed, until recently, most of the traditional religions and institutions have been predominantly led by those of the male gender. However, as many who are reading this piece will testify, not many of these males have exuded the attributes of manhood as defined above. This has often been with disastrous effects. I therefore agree with John Maxwell when he says that everything rises and falls on leadership - but that will be the subject of an even deeper analysis in another blog piece.

The aforementioned state of affairs however, calls for many interventions. On the one hand, there has been the call to challenge the male domination of power in society and its attendant challenges, while on the other, ( and more importantly in my view), is the call to critically interrogate and also support the case for helping males to understand what manhood is all about and what it requires.

At the School of Law, Makerere University, this has been the focus of many of our discussions. When we identified this gap, we sought to have conversations that will help young men (and the ladies in their lives)[2], to appreciate but also take up the challenge of striving towards manhood.  I must be clear from the onset that we all are on the journey towards manhood and it is my intention to not only grow as an individual, but also share stories and other anecdotes about this journey.

To the young men who have taken the risk of self discovery and learning, in order to make themselves (and there areas of influence) better, and to the young ladies who have willingly joined this cause, we appreciate you. To the fellow men and women who have willingly given of their time to take steer this raft of discovery, over rough waters, unknown rapids and other crocodiles and dangerous animals that might await us down stream, we applaud and thank you. Let us do this.

It is our hope that we shall change the narrative given at the beginning of this blog piece and the testimony shall be of a generation of men – real men!

Aluta Continua -

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[1] See Glenn Stanton, What are the Universal Qualities of Manhood? In Focus of the Family last accessed https://focusonthefamily.com/about/focus-findings/the-nature-of-manhood/what-are-the-universal-qualities-of-manhood   last accessed January 18, 2019.

[2] Initially, the Maleness Vs. Manhood Conversations were intended for the male law student alone. However, the female students insisted on being a part of this and opened our eyes to the reality that we must walk this journey together